Had to pass along, lol!!!!

While conducting some business at the Courthouse, I overheard a lady, 

who had been arrested for assaulting a
Mammogram Technician, say, "Your Honor, I'm guilty but.....there were extenuating circumstances!"

The female Judge said, sarcastically, "I'd certainly like to hear those extenuating circumstances."  
I did too soooo…… I listened as the lady told her story.

"Your Honor, I had a mammogram appointment, which I actually kept.
I was met by this perky little clipboard carrier smiling from ear to ear and she tilted her head to one side and crooned,
"Hi! I'm Belinda! All I need you to do is step into this room right here, strip to the waist, then slip on this gown.
Everything clear?"

I'm thinking, "Belinda, try decaf. This ain't rocket science."
Belinda then skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors.

With the right side finished, Belinda flipped me (literally) to the left and said,
 "Hmmmm. Can you stand on your tippy toes and lean in a tad so we can get everything?"
"Fine" I answered.

I was freezing, bruised, and out of air, so why not use the remaining circulation in my legs and neck to finish me off?
My body was in a holding pattern that defied gravity (with my other breast wedged between those two 4 inch pieces of square glass)
when I heard and felt a zap!

Complete darkness, the power was off!

Belinda said, "Uh-oh, maintenance is working, bet they hit a snag." Then she headed for the door.

"Excuse me! You're not leaving me in this vise alone are you?" I shouted.

Belinda kept going and said, "Oh, you fussy puppy...the door's wide open so you'll have the emergency hall lights.
I'll be right back."

Before I could shout NOOOO! She disappeared.
And that's exactly how Bubba and Earl, "maintenance men Extraordinaire" found me...half-naked with part of me
dangling from the Jaws of Life and the other part smashed between glass!

After exchanging a polite Hi, how's it going type greeting, Bubba (or possibly Earl) asked, to my utter disbelief, if I knew the power was off.

Trying to disguise my hysteria, I replied with as much calmness as possible, "Uh, yes, I did but thanks anyway."

"OK, you take care now" Bubba replied and waved good-bye as though I'd been standing in the line at the grocery store.

Two hours later, Belinda breezes in wearing a sheepish grin.
Making no attempt to suppress her amusement, she said, "Oh I am sooo sorry!
The power came back on and I totally forgot about you!
And silly me, I went to lunch.
Are we upset?"

And that, Your Honor, is exactly how her head ended up between the clamps...."

The judge could hardly contain her laughter as she said "Case Dismissed".

When you stop laughing, FORWARD this and let the rest of our "sisters" laugh.

Make Do With What You Have!!

This is the craft project I worked on last week - Christmas Tree Garland   I finished last night watching Amazing Race, it's 12 ft. long!!!  In this pic it's only about 2 ft long, lol!!

A close up!

I used left over gingham material I had from the aprons we made last year.  I haven't decided if I want to tea stain it or not - I'll wait until I put it on the tree.  Next I'm working on a new tree skirt made from an old quilt I have will post pics when I get it done.

Today straightening the house & working on laundry, made a Black Forest Cheesecake (for me ) Hubby doesn't like cheesecake so I'm making a Freezer Chocolate Cream Pie for him, plus I have chili in the crockpot for supper.  Well that's all from the mtn. for now, take care & catch ya later.

God Bless,
Gretchen

Need to Understand!!

From ~ Bill Gates ~
This should be posted in every school or kid's bedroom. Love him or hate him , he sure hits the nail on the head with this! Bill Gates recently gave a speech at a High School about eleven (11) things they did not and will not learn in school. He talks about how feel-good, politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in the real world.

Rule 1 : Life is not fair - get used to it!

Rule 2 : The world doesn't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3 : You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4 : If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss

Rule 5 : Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: They called it opportunity.

Rule 6 : If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7 : Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were: So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.
 
Rule 8 : Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. *This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9 : Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. *Do that on your own time.

Rule 10 : Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11 : Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one..

God Bless,

Gretchen

What a month!!!

 What a month I have had!!!  First my oven broke, I was preheating the oven to make biscuits for supper & heard several popping noises - the bottom heating element broke in 4 places, well there goes biscuits for supper!!  Hubby went the next day & got a new heating element & when I turned the oven on it threw the breaker.  I'm still without an oven, so after a couple of weeks hubby was wanting some biscuits (he was tired of sliced store bought bread, lol) so he bought me my first toaster oven!!  Still learning how to use it, lol.  The next thing to happen the cord on my Farberware open hearth electric grill broke, my sewing machine peddle went out & my vacuum belt broke, luckily hubby fixed them all at no cost   Then last week my coffeepots, yes plural - to be exact 3 (1 was a one cupper), went out UGH!!  Hubby hurried out of the house to work that morning especially when he found out I hadn't had my morning coffee yet!!  I improvised, I used the the part of the coffee pot that holds the filter & boiled some water on the stove & WAHLAA coffee, lol!!  Hubby stopped on his way home & bought me a new coffeepot, he said as he handed it to me - "GO MAKE YOU SOME COFFEE!"  Don't ya just love them, lol!!  A few days later as I was finishing up sewing the gifts we were giving out at our church's Ladies Bible Conference my iron caught my ironing board on fire!!  The cord had a cut in it, hubby said he could fix but when we were grocery shopping he told me to get a new iron, still have to get a new iron board cover but I'll make due for now, lol!!  I'm afraid to use any of my other appliances, ROFL!!

Here's some pics of the gifts we made for each lady that attended our church's Ladies Bible Conference, we made 150 of them.  There are several different kinds this is the one that I chose & have it hanging in my laundry room :-)

Well I better run, my house needs some much needed TLC & a need to make a special treat for my sweet hubby for putting up with everything these last few weeks.  That's all from the mtn. for now, take care & catch ya later.

God Bless,
Gretchen

OMGosh!!!

I had not heard this information before but I am so thankful that I have heard it now.  We, Americans, are very resilient aren't we.  That old saying "When the going gets tough, the tough get going" really applies to us.  In spite of all that is going on in our country I am still proud to be called an American from the United States of America - we will overcome, bounce back - we always do.  I hope you all keep the faith - just watch this video every so often to keep your spirits up.

http://forum.woodenboat.com/showthread.php?136581-BoatLift-An-Untold-tale-of-September-11-Resilience

Serenaded by Angels

She went to sleep one night,
never here to awake again,
but everything was alright,
between her and Him.
And she awoke in heaven's courtyard,
free from pain within,
the angels gathered 'round her,
and they took her by the hand....

Serenaded by angels....
up to the throne
Serenaded by angels.....
finally at home
surrounded by praises to the King.
Welcome to paradise...
the angels will sing.

Our church family lost (last night) a very special young woman, Misti Sanders, she lost her battle w/ cancer.  She was 34 yrs. old & has 2 young sons, pls keep this family in your prayers.  Thank you.

God Bless,

Gretchen

ALWAYS PICK UP PENNIES!!!

You always hear the usual stories of pennies on the sidewalk being good luck, gifts from angels, etc. This is the first time I've ever heard this twist on the story. Gives you something to think about..... 

Several years ago, a friend of mine and her husband were invited to spend the weekend at the husband's employer's home.  My friend, Arlene, was nervous about the weekend. The boss was very wealthy, with a fine home on the waterway, and cars costing more than her house. 

The first day and evening went well, and Arlene was delighted to have this rare glimpse into how the very wealthy live. The husband's employer was quite generous as a host, and took them to the finest restaurants. Arlene knew she would never have the opportunity to indulge in this kind of extravagance again, so was enjoying herself immensely.

As the three of them were about to enter an exclusive restaurant that evening, the boss was walking slightly ahead of Arlene and her husband. He stopped suddenly, looking down on the pavement for a long, silent moment.

Arlene wondered if she was supposed to pass him. There was nothing on the ground except a single darkened penny that someone had dropped, and a few cigarette butts. Still silent, the man reached down and picked up the penny.
He held it up and smiled, then put it in his pocket as if he had found a great treasure. How absurd! What need did this man have for a single penny? Why would he even take the time to stop and pick it up?

Throughout dinner, the entire scene nagged at her. Finally, she could stand it no longer. She casually mention ed that her daughter once had a coin collection, and asked if the penny he had found had been of some value.  A smile crept across the man's face as he reached into his pocket for the penny and held it out for her to see.. She had seen many pennies before! What was the point of this?  'Look at it,' he said. 'Read what it says.' She read the words '  United States of America .'  'No, not that; read further.' 
'One cent?'  'No, keep reading.'
'In God we Trust?'  'Yes!'  'And... ?' 

He explained, 'And if I trust in God, the name of God is holy, even on a coin. Whenever I find a coin I see that inscription. It is written on every single  United States coin, but we never seem to notice it! God drops a message right in front of me telling me to trust Him. Who am I to pass it by? When I see a coin, I pray, I stop to see if my trust IS in God at that moment. I pick the coin up as my response to God; that I do trust in Him. For a short time, at least, I cherish it as if it were gold. I think it is God's way of starting a conversation with me. Lucky for me, God is patient and pennies are plentiful! '

When I was out shopping today, I found a penny on the sidewalk. I stopped and picked it up, and realized that I had been worrying and fretting in my mind about things I cannot change. I read the words, 'In God We Trust,' and had to laugh. Yes, God, I get the message.

It seems that I have been finding an inordinate number of pennies in the last few months, but then, pennies are plentiful! And, God is patient..